diff -u then now > meditation.patch

there will always be days
when the urge strikes
to take a razor to my wrists
or put a rope around my neck
but I am learning
I am healing

20 years ago
I spiralled
I got lost in the dark

the difference now
the patch
to learn not to follow my thoughts
into the darkness
to concentrate
to focus
to allow my breathing
to release the thoughts
I am alive
and breathing

lost in the forest
emotions raging within
the only way out is through

it is not about sex
but kindness and listening
which perhaps, ultimately,
is real love

a single comma
like a tear in a poem
love,

ping pong
life goes on

to me to you
I dream and I rue
that love eludes me
though I wander through fields
with friends who are my found family
I always wanted my own family,
a wife
children

ping pong
life goes on

Saturday morning
time to meditate and drift
far away from work

that day
that day
when psychosis had a grip
more than half a lifetime ago
let it slide away
let it sink beneath the light of dawn
back into the sleeping depths
the pain
the pain
let it wash away
right here
right now
the water is gold and silver
and the library is full of wonder
the plants are green
the Spring
the Spring
life resplendent
the water is gold and silver
and the library is full of wonder