I went looking for you in my dream
but you weren't there
you were never there
you were never mine
and I felt lost, rejected.
Slowly the water cleared.
I surface and breathe

I have seen you dance

The only exit is through
I want to be free
not of desire
I want to be free
of the jangle snarl vinegar
I want peace
self sooth
drop into the body
drop into the water and float
feel, feel it all
feel, process, evolve

it washes over me
and the water begins to clear

to see the trauma,
to integrate it into
who I am - rather
than running away through drink
or drugs - to face it, and live

to climb the mountain,
little by little, focus
and stay in the now

navigation must be free,
say the politians.
The oil must flow,
like the blood of a child in Gaza

slowly on the mend
going through my old poems
the darkness of then
reminds me of my journey
out of the night to daylight

up in the attic,
sober and reading, writing,
the quiet before dawn,
a little meditation,
a January Sunday

inhale and exhale,
so simple, and yet my mind
slips away and drifts

to embroider life
with books and music, and grow
slowly, stitch by stitch

animals cower,
pyromaniacs rejoice,
another year starts

as midnight heads West,
fireworks fill the darkness,
lighting the new year

the midnight sky filled
with fireworks, I awake,
as the year arrives

Wishing a very
Happy New Year to my friends
around the planet