debt debt debt debt debt
money money money stress -
modern world pressures

entangled in the
brambles of thoughts of her, I
trip and fall again

the overcast day
bears down on me - the black dog
stirs and sleeps again

learning to let go
and trust and fall and be free -
to float in water

Muladhara - roots -
stability narratives -
grounded in stories

stroll through the blue sky
in your mind's eye - thoughts like clouds
come and go - and go

crazy stalker guy
is that who I am - I fear
the truth - I fear me

during the lockdown
the rhythms of sanity
disturbed yet clung to

roses are red
violets are blue
poems are just words
my sliced heart on a plate
or gently fricasseed soul afterbirth
or just random shit that crosses my mind

flying monkey words
the violation of trust
the hurt in her eyes

I fell in love with a picture of a cloud
So amorphous, beautiful and impossible.
I carried the picture with me for years
I carry it still.
I look at it now
and think how foolish
yet I cannot find closure.

The black dog is growling

this darkness will pass
this storm will fade to rainbows
yet I am afraid

feeling rejected and hurt -
acknowledge the feelings
but don't wallow
see them and let them go
let them in
don't fight them
don't entertain them

Wayne Shorter's Sax

music twists and peaks -
the diamonds on black velvet -
glistening rainbows

breathe in and regroup
breathe out and release - let go -
begin a new day

today
I woke up
meandered through internet stuff
and said Good Morning to the lovely Anna,
who is far away.
Meditated,
wrote a haiku,
watched incense smoke coil,
looked at the blue sky
Practiced the subtle art of letting go,
brushed my teeth,
let my stubble grow,
and had a shower.
I hummed My Favourite Things,
looked out of the window at the fresh green leaves,
thought about breakfast,
had breakfast,
put some laundry on,
and went for a run.
Listened to some music
(Norah and Anoushka playing
for the Centenary of their father
and Yo-Yo Ma playing Bach)
and then sat in the sun.

The lies of the West -
the protestant work ethic.
Give me peace and love.

I am not worthy
of your love, your every deed
says - I can't let go
though I know I should - that would
be the path of growth, sunlight

my delusion and
obsession you run on your
own path
my thoughts are my enemy
let go - let go
she is a hidden book

to respect her space -
I shall walk away with pain
and hope for healing

Pandemic lockdown
meditate and run - rhythms -
trying to stay safe

to write a first draft
and let the flying monkey
words be exorcised

Ithaca - my home
I long for you - I am adrift
The Siren sings - fear
and beauty wash over me
and I go mad with blood guilt

the sun sets and I
am released from the poison.
You are far away.
The olive tree bed we shared
holds you safe, and I see stars.

rise above and float
within your thoughts and being.
My mind drifts with clouds.

to feel the sunlight
on my face and water
slip through my fingers,
these are the things I dream of,
that bring me peace: simple things