the sunset of love
a long night
waiting for the dawn

you know that I love you right
I mean full on
think about you constantly
love you

but you're married
have been for years
and I believe he makes you happy
and I want you to be happy

I tell myself it is obsession
there is no reality
no basis in shared reciprocity
mutual interaction
and yet
you own a corner of my soul
it is only love
and I'll live

my mind
my meditation
sitting on my mat
with my back resting against the wall

my room
my Earth
my little corner of the universe

Friday morning:
I feel too full of can't this morning.
Can't cope.
Can't deal with it.
But I am trying to can.

Friday evening:
I could
I did
I can

trying to find my voice -
trying to keep going +
trying to be positive /
trying to just be *

the 2020s so far have been challenging
and I wonder what's next
love
hope
questions
pointers to memories
a stack of work
a heap of new change

Today someone opened a box of darkness
and threw the contents all over me.
It got into my eyes and teeth,
and drowned my mind
'til I could hardly breathe.
Now I peel the scabs from my eyes
and drain the dark into ink.
I swim and swim
and wash away with words,
the shower of pain,
swim
swim
the burnt offering
the incense smoke
the fragrant coffee steam
transmogrification
holocaust
and rain

the soot in the rain
runs down my face -
shut the box -
light a candle,
survive,
I see you,
I see you,
trying to make a better world.

early morning meditation,
in the dark,
except for a single candle;
and from a streetlight, shining through the window:
a window covered in raindrops,
each a lens;
each a star,
or lenticular galaxy;
just a streak of rain;
just beauty in the dark